The beginning of the Journey

Somewhere back in the spring, I observed before the Lord that I had never really had any kind of trial.  Not a real trial. . . not one that makes you hold on to your faith or one that brings out the worst or best in you.  Sure, I have had difficult pregnancies, a miscarriage, financial bumps, parenting issues . . . but nothing that has rocked my world.  I am a bit of a Pollyanna and somewhat proud of that.

On Tuesday, August 23rd, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I always wondered how I would respond.  Now I know . . . Sure there were tears and crazy unknowns at first, but God was always there right by me.  I have to thank you Lord for loving me enough to give me a trial . . . a big one.  I thank You that I get to cling to You more each day.  I thank you for how my kids will get to watch as we give You glory.  I thank You for the family and friends that have come around me like nothing I ever expected.  I thank You for anyone along the way that I can share my faith with or tell my story to.  I thank You for this "interruption" to my normal life.  I thank you holding me all the way through this ordeal - start to finish.  I thank you that You knew ahead of time what my path would hold and how you know the final outcome.  I thank for the hours I got to ponder death in the beginning.  I thank You for the hours I have had to fully enjoy life.  I thank You that You took this lazy person and have changed me - physically, emotionally and spritually. . . how do people do this without You?

Some have asked, how could this happen?  I am 42 with no family history of breast cancer. I have had four great kids and nursed each one for 1 1/2 years.   I have less than 1% chance of getting breast cancer. . . less than 1%!

It all started with a pain in my arm pit about 5 months ago.  No one really knows (and still don't know) what is causing that pain.  But through trying to figure out what was going on, I went for my annual mammogram.  I don't think I would have gone this year, since the last 2 years have been fine.  I think I would have taken a pass.  Wow . . . that would have been harder next year.  In one year, I have developed 8 lumps (I can't feel them at all) and they are two kinds of cancer.  My official diagnosis is Invasive Ductal Carsinoma and one of the lumps is HR-2 positive (the fast growing kind).

The advice from both medical and homepathic folks has been overwhelmingly the same:  double masectomy and recontruction with chemo to follow.  There are a few people out there who think I should hold out with supplements and dietary constraints.  But . . . they may not have four sweet kids who would miss their mommy.  So tomorrow I am scheduling my surgery.

Why have a waited, you may ask?  I wanted to research all my options and interview the doctors.  I wanted a peace to come over me from the Lord.  I wanted to detox and get in better shape before the surgery for good long term results.  I didn't want to regret the decision.

Last week, I spent seven glorious days at one of my favorite places, the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego - an intense detox program that cleans you physically, mentally, emotionally and builds into you spiritually.  The program requires much effort, but the results are well worth it.  I feel great!  I am not as tired, no more headaches, lost 20 pounds, my skin is great!  Now I continue to eat this way at home - radical as it may be . . and will most likely continue for the rest of my life (you probably won't invite us to dinner anymore).

I learned that truly I was the perfect candidate for breast cancer:

1.  Highly Stressed (although I didn't realize it - that's another blog post to come)
2.  Emotions buried
3.  Poor diet (even though I knew better - I am a 3rd generation OHI participant)
4.  Out of control hormones
5.  Unwire bras 10 hours a day
6.  Huge Coffee Drinker
7.  Too much sugar
8.  Overweight

So that my friends, is the perfect breeding ground for these nasty suckers.  I figure at my age 40 of my girlfriends will have breast cancer in my lifetime.  If any of you can relate the points above, beware!

My friends . . . I have the greatest friends in the world!  So many of you have REALLY gone out of your way to be Jesus' hands and feet to me already and the journey has just begun.  You have watched my children for endless hours sacrificing your schedules (every day is a play date and the kids think Mommy's "sickness" isn't too bad!).  You have gone to doctor appointments with me, made us dinners, gone to a cancer conference for me and washed my clothes (our washer is broken!).  You have fixed my computer, massaged my back, set up this blog, straighten my house and made special food I can eat!  You have sent me cards, texts and prayers that have brightened my every day.  You have cried with me, listened to me (as these decisions are hard!) and shown me God's love.  For all of you who have asked to help . . . this journey is long and I will call on you soon!  This is the body of Christ at work, everyone!  Thank you sweet precious friends for being Jesus to me!

Many decisions lie ahead. . . . chemo, full-time help, weeks recovery, more doctors, etc.  However, for now, I rest in this day and what I can do today.

I will end with a verse from my quiet time:

"I am in pain and distress.  May your salvation, O God, protect me.  I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving" Ps. 69:29-30

Joy shining on the difficult times, reflects God's face!  Love to you all!