There is such a satisfaction in working really hard and then seeing results, isn't there?
I wonder if God ever feels that way about us? . . . He works really hard in His sovereign, holy way at helping us become more Christ-like. I wonder if He gets satisfaction from seeing results in us . . .
For the last 6 weeks, I have been going to a holistic scientist who does a scan of my body with radio frequencies. She tells me what is going on and then she administers treatments. I love that she is the only person who was able to explain ALL of my 13 crazy symptoms I had (without ever seeing the list). She has amazed me and I continue to believe that God is working through her. Every time I see her she is always moving quickly and telling me that the cancer cells are metastasizing to other parts of my body. This of course has not alway delighted me, but I know that these suckers do fight harder once you change their environment so I was not shocked.
Today is the first time that they are NOT active!!!! Whatever I am doing and God is doing in me (through so many of your prayers) is working! Of course it is, right? Why do I ever doubt that? Today we actually got to work on the tumors present in my body and got to deal with things at hand without putting out fires elsewhere. Yes, God is healing me. He is good all the time!
Also another praise is that I met an oncologist who doesn't want to throw me on chemo right away. She said she will even see me and be a lifelong friend and doctor to me, even if I reject traditional methods and stay my holistic route after surgery. Wow!! I was so excited to meet her that I could have kissed her!
As I am meeting all the doctors and so many people along this cancer road I am on, I am reminded of the sermon at church on Sunday that Kenton Beshore, our pastor gave on Acts 3 and 4. A quick summary: John and Peter healed a lame man and got thrown into jail for it. The leaders at the time did not know what to do with them because they gave Jesus all the glory and people were praising His name everywhere. They let them go but told them don't ever speak the name of Jesus again. HA! Here is the prayer that they gave back at their home church:
“Sovereign Lord,” they said, “you made the heavens and the earth and the sea, and everything in them. You spoke by the Holy Spirit through the mouth of your servant, our father David. . . Indeed, Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus" Act. 4:24-30
This prayer has stuck with me ALL week! First, they told God he was Sovereign and in charge basically. I copy this prayer by agreeing with them. God is sovereign and completely in charge of my journey. I am grateful to be in His very capable hands. Second, they asked for GREAT boldness! They didn't pray for safety or comfort, but boldness. Lord, let me have GREAT boldness with all the doctors, nurses, people I meet along this journey and bring you glory through it. Lastly, they asked for God to perform miracles - not for them, but for others. So Lord, I pray that you heal and perform miracles in others lives, not mine, but others so that they might know you!!!
Just to clarify though, it would be okay with me God if you did choose to heal me in a miraculous way too. . . that would be kind of fun. But if not, I'll take the normal healing path and give you ALL the glory along the way because ultimately YOU are the Healer!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
I found a restaurant!!!!
After eating weeks on a raw, organic diet, I have been bit challenged in the taste buds lately.
You see, I only eat green veggies, tomatoes, occasional carrot or bell peppers, seeds, sprouts, gabonzo beans, wheatgrass and a special cancer tea. No fruit, no meat, no dairy, no wheat, flour, no sugar, no drinks . . . pretty simple. This is the diet I learned at the Optimum Health Institute. Once a week, I treat myself to a baked sweet potato or a cup of quinoa. One day I broke down and had 20 dates!!! That is the only sugar I have had for 6 weeks.
My diet is not that boring actually. I have terrific friends who make me recipes from the Optimum Health Institute - dehydrated onion rings, sunflower crackers, "pizza", spagetthi with squash "noodles" and soups. I juice daily and I love my hummus and seed cheeses. I get my protein from the sprouts and seeds.
This week I found a raw, organic restaurant in Costa Mesa that is AWESOME! 118 Degrees is the name of it and Chef Jenny Ross makes things taste amazing. I know there is a little coconut oil or olive oil in some of the recipes, but for a once a week thing, it's okay. So if anyone wants to go to lunch or dinner, we can!!! Also, Bruce is getting me food from here when I am in the hospital and I can't wait!
Why the crazy diet? I am still detoxing and trying to rid my body of cancer. I do believe that once the cells know how to make cancer they will keep doing it, so I am trying to create a body that they don't like - alkaline, oxygen-filled, non-toxic, non-stressed and sugar-free.
My verse: “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food." Gen. 1:29
You see, I only eat green veggies, tomatoes, occasional carrot or bell peppers, seeds, sprouts, gabonzo beans, wheatgrass and a special cancer tea. No fruit, no meat, no dairy, no wheat, flour, no sugar, no drinks . . . pretty simple. This is the diet I learned at the Optimum Health Institute. Once a week, I treat myself to a baked sweet potato or a cup of quinoa. One day I broke down and had 20 dates!!! That is the only sugar I have had for 6 weeks.
My diet is not that boring actually. I have terrific friends who make me recipes from the Optimum Health Institute - dehydrated onion rings, sunflower crackers, "pizza", spagetthi with squash "noodles" and soups. I juice daily and I love my hummus and seed cheeses. I get my protein from the sprouts and seeds.
This week I found a raw, organic restaurant in Costa Mesa that is AWESOME! 118 Degrees is the name of it and Chef Jenny Ross makes things taste amazing. I know there is a little coconut oil or olive oil in some of the recipes, but for a once a week thing, it's okay. So if anyone wants to go to lunch or dinner, we can!!! Also, Bruce is getting me food from here when I am in the hospital and I can't wait!
Why the crazy diet? I am still detoxing and trying to rid my body of cancer. I do believe that once the cells know how to make cancer they will keep doing it, so I am trying to create a body that they don't like - alkaline, oxygen-filled, non-toxic, non-stressed and sugar-free.
My verse: “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food." Gen. 1:29
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Mommy, what are we eating?
Every day my kids make me laugh.
Since I got home from the Optimum Health Institute, I have implemented a few changes around the house and with the family diet. Slowly, but surely, I am making strides to make my kids more healthy. They have tried a variety of new things: wheatgrass, kale and seaweed chips, seed cheese, sprouted peas and lentils, manna bread, oxygen water, carob and buckwheat sprouts, just to name a few. Sometimes they make funny faces and pretend to gag, but for the most part they are game to try anything. Last night, we had a completely veggie dinner: baked sweet potato, raw cucumbers and tomatoes and steamed green beans. The comments were: "Pretty good mom" "I love that you are eating the same thing as us, mom" "It's all in the spices" "The potato is like our 'meat'" and "Can I have more tomatoes and cucumbers, please?"
We have some new toys around the house that the kids are learning to use. We now have a really awesome juicer (Thank you, Mothers Market) and the kids all take turns juicing. Christian and Danika both make me wheatgrass twice and day and are able to clean up the whole machine themselves. We use the Vitamixer for smoothies and Danika has taken on the job to make that for breakfast almost every day. Christian gets the oxygen maker out and makes me water because cancer cannot live in oxygen blood. We grow wheatgrass in our dining room and everyone takes turns cutting and watering.
We have had a variey of 'health" lessons from something I learned at OHI. Here are a some of the new "rules":
1. No drinks with dinner. If you are thirsty, drink water BEFORE dinner so that you will use your saliva which will aid in digestion. (Comments the first day:"Mom, I am just going to die without a drink" "I'm thirsty" said 30x in a row by Kenton "I don't understand why the water can't go with food together") Now they don't miss it and it hasn't even been 2 weeks.
2. Chew your food atleast 20 times. (Comments: "But I can't chew anymore, it's like water" "I can't talk and chew and count" "Do I have to chew the mushy stuff that much?" "Are my teeth going to fall out from so much chewing?") They seem to have caught on somehow.
3. Drink the right amount of water each day. We calculated how much water everyone should drink each day by dividing their weight in half. So Danika weighs 60 pounds - she should drink 30 oz of water each day. Yes, it seems like a lot but they are doing it easily.
4. When you have to go to the bathroom, go right away! No holding it because holding it releases toxins into your system and puts pressure on your bladder and kidneys. My kids are famous for being "camels" so this one is a bit harder to put into practice.
5. No more junk at home. Cancer loves sugar. We have replaced all the sugar items with new "fun" organic foods from Sprouts and Mothers. They are eating more fruits and veggies for snacks. They still have cookies, bars and chips but they are all pretty healthy and organic. Even our shampoo is paraben and chemical free now and the toothpaste is floride and sodium free. I know that they will get all kinds of other things when we are away from home, but as much good stuff as I can put in them the better. They are already turning down candy and asking if they can have dates when they get home. I think that is a step in the right direction.
6. No more stress. We have really landed heavy on this one this week as I am trying to be "unstressed". Little kids stress out too and they start forming habits now they will carry into their adult lives. We seem to be kinder and more encouraging to each other. The marble "character" jars are definitely back in action.
7. Be thankful. Most importantly, we are all learning and talking about being grateful that mommy is challenged with cancer. We search for little joys each day. As they are learning about the human anatomy, and cells right now in science, they are getting to see the body in action and learn how amazing God made us. We find lots of things each day to be thankful for. Sometimes it is a playdate, sometimes it is just a "normal" day. Sometimes we find extra time to do something fun and sometimes we cry and know that's okay. But we all are grateful for a meal prepared by loving hands just for us.
I am so proud of them! They have not complained much at all. They seem to like the new way we are doing things. The reason I share all of this with you is because many of you have asked what changes we have made. I want to make sure that no one feels like if they can't make these changes then they are doing it all wrong. I would have felt that way if I read this blog just a couple of months ago. But you, most likely don't have a health challenge, so just take one thing on the list and incorporate it into your daily life. God knows what each of us need and follow Him for what He has called you and your family to do.
I love this inspirational thought from Elisabeth Elliot which is great for me: "In our anxiey to compete, to prove ourselves, to be a success, we are wearied and overburdened. If we sought instead only the greatness of the kingdom, we would become childlike". Lord, may I continue to follow you in all that I do!
Since I got home from the Optimum Health Institute, I have implemented a few changes around the house and with the family diet. Slowly, but surely, I am making strides to make my kids more healthy. They have tried a variety of new things: wheatgrass, kale and seaweed chips, seed cheese, sprouted peas and lentils, manna bread, oxygen water, carob and buckwheat sprouts, just to name a few. Sometimes they make funny faces and pretend to gag, but for the most part they are game to try anything. Last night, we had a completely veggie dinner: baked sweet potato, raw cucumbers and tomatoes and steamed green beans. The comments were: "Pretty good mom" "I love that you are eating the same thing as us, mom" "It's all in the spices" "The potato is like our 'meat'" and "Can I have more tomatoes and cucumbers, please?"
We have some new toys around the house that the kids are learning to use. We now have a really awesome juicer (Thank you, Mothers Market) and the kids all take turns juicing. Christian and Danika both make me wheatgrass twice and day and are able to clean up the whole machine themselves. We use the Vitamixer for smoothies and Danika has taken on the job to make that for breakfast almost every day. Christian gets the oxygen maker out and makes me water because cancer cannot live in oxygen blood. We grow wheatgrass in our dining room and everyone takes turns cutting and watering.
We have had a variey of 'health" lessons from something I learned at OHI. Here are a some of the new "rules":
1. No drinks with dinner. If you are thirsty, drink water BEFORE dinner so that you will use your saliva which will aid in digestion. (Comments the first day:"Mom, I am just going to die without a drink" "I'm thirsty" said 30x in a row by Kenton "I don't understand why the water can't go with food together") Now they don't miss it and it hasn't even been 2 weeks.
2. Chew your food atleast 20 times. (Comments: "But I can't chew anymore, it's like water" "I can't talk and chew and count" "Do I have to chew the mushy stuff that much?" "Are my teeth going to fall out from so much chewing?") They seem to have caught on somehow.
3. Drink the right amount of water each day. We calculated how much water everyone should drink each day by dividing their weight in half. So Danika weighs 60 pounds - she should drink 30 oz of water each day. Yes, it seems like a lot but they are doing it easily.
4. When you have to go to the bathroom, go right away! No holding it because holding it releases toxins into your system and puts pressure on your bladder and kidneys. My kids are famous for being "camels" so this one is a bit harder to put into practice.
5. No more junk at home. Cancer loves sugar. We have replaced all the sugar items with new "fun" organic foods from Sprouts and Mothers. They are eating more fruits and veggies for snacks. They still have cookies, bars and chips but they are all pretty healthy and organic. Even our shampoo is paraben and chemical free now and the toothpaste is floride and sodium free. I know that they will get all kinds of other things when we are away from home, but as much good stuff as I can put in them the better. They are already turning down candy and asking if they can have dates when they get home. I think that is a step in the right direction.
6. No more stress. We have really landed heavy on this one this week as I am trying to be "unstressed". Little kids stress out too and they start forming habits now they will carry into their adult lives. We seem to be kinder and more encouraging to each other. The marble "character" jars are definitely back in action.
7. Be thankful. Most importantly, we are all learning and talking about being grateful that mommy is challenged with cancer. We search for little joys each day. As they are learning about the human anatomy, and cells right now in science, they are getting to see the body in action and learn how amazing God made us. We find lots of things each day to be thankful for. Sometimes it is a playdate, sometimes it is just a "normal" day. Sometimes we find extra time to do something fun and sometimes we cry and know that's okay. But we all are grateful for a meal prepared by loving hands just for us.
I am so proud of them! They have not complained much at all. They seem to like the new way we are doing things. The reason I share all of this with you is because many of you have asked what changes we have made. I want to make sure that no one feels like if they can't make these changes then they are doing it all wrong. I would have felt that way if I read this blog just a couple of months ago. But you, most likely don't have a health challenge, so just take one thing on the list and incorporate it into your daily life. God knows what each of us need and follow Him for what He has called you and your family to do.
I love this inspirational thought from Elisabeth Elliot which is great for me: "In our anxiey to compete, to prove ourselves, to be a success, we are wearied and overburdened. If we sought instead only the greatness of the kingdom, we would become childlike". Lord, may I continue to follow you in all that I do!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Moldy Armpits?
While I was down at the Optimum Health Institute, we all shared stories of what was going on with each other. Everyone has a story . . . some of healing, others of health challenges, emotional blocks, spiritual voids. Many who didn't have a health challenge asked how I could be smiling and friendly with such a diagnosis. I remember Monica who asked me, "Aren't you afraid to die?" I loved that I got to tell her "No! I look forward to meeting Jesus and dancing amoung angels. Plus I have lived this life to the fullest and done all that I believe the Lord has asked me to do! My goal is to bring him glory!" And the conversation went on from there . . .
One of the days, I was telling the story of my aching arm pits for months to four different people (one doctor) at four different times. All of them in on the same day said, "Do you have mold in your house?" I had never thought of that before so Bruce and I decided to have the house checked for mold today.
I am happy to report that our house is mold free; however our garage is not. Thank goodness it is nothing urgent, but we will need to do something about it in the near future. I can come home from the hospital to our house, my room and my familiar surroundings. We do need prayer that all the mold tests come back the way the inspector viewed it.
As I pondered mold today, I thought it had quite the spiritual application to my journey so far.
Mold is just like sin.
It starts off with something simple: water. In our case, a leaking hot water heater. Seems harmless enough. We thought it would just dry out in the hot California summer. Over time, it becomes mold in the smallest form that you can't even see it. Eventually, there are so many spores, millions, it looks black. But it still continues to spread unseen by the naked eye. Until the big guys, come in, turn on the lights and suck those puppies out.
I guess, mold reminds me of cancer too.
Since I first found out the diagnosis, I have asked the Lord if I have done something wrong. Yes, this is the first place I go. To make sure that I am in right standing with my Jesus. There were some unfinished jobs he had asked me to do, that I had not done. There were some hidden sins that have now come to light. I don't think that my cancer is my punishment for these things, but I know God wanted to rid me of the "mold" in my life. He uses everything to make us more like His Son.
I was taught that there are three reasons for sickness according to the Bible:
Sickness unto death
Sickness for chastisment
Sickness for His Glory
So for now, I am sticking with the last one and giving Him the glory all along the way! Just think what treasures lie in the darkenss for me!
Love this verse that a friend sent me, "And I will give you treasures - secret riches in the dark places. I will do this so you will know I am God. . The One who calls you by name. " Isaiah 45:3
One of the days, I was telling the story of my aching arm pits for months to four different people (one doctor) at four different times. All of them in on the same day said, "Do you have mold in your house?" I had never thought of that before so Bruce and I decided to have the house checked for mold today.
I am happy to report that our house is mold free; however our garage is not. Thank goodness it is nothing urgent, but we will need to do something about it in the near future. I can come home from the hospital to our house, my room and my familiar surroundings. We do need prayer that all the mold tests come back the way the inspector viewed it.
As I pondered mold today, I thought it had quite the spiritual application to my journey so far.
Mold is just like sin.
It starts off with something simple: water. In our case, a leaking hot water heater. Seems harmless enough. We thought it would just dry out in the hot California summer. Over time, it becomes mold in the smallest form that you can't even see it. Eventually, there are so many spores, millions, it looks black. But it still continues to spread unseen by the naked eye. Until the big guys, come in, turn on the lights and suck those puppies out.
I guess, mold reminds me of cancer too.
Since I first found out the diagnosis, I have asked the Lord if I have done something wrong. Yes, this is the first place I go. To make sure that I am in right standing with my Jesus. There were some unfinished jobs he had asked me to do, that I had not done. There were some hidden sins that have now come to light. I don't think that my cancer is my punishment for these things, but I know God wanted to rid me of the "mold" in my life. He uses everything to make us more like His Son.
I was taught that there are three reasons for sickness according to the Bible:
Sickness unto death
Sickness for chastisment
Sickness for His Glory
So for now, I am sticking with the last one and giving Him the glory all along the way! Just think what treasures lie in the darkenss for me!
Love this verse that a friend sent me, "And I will give you treasures - secret riches in the dark places. I will do this so you will know I am God. . The One who calls you by name. " Isaiah 45:3
Sunday, September 18, 2011
3 Weeks to Wait
Funny sometimes in life how we hurry, hurry, hurry to then just . . . wait.
My surgery date is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 7th at Hoag Hospital. We have to be there at 5:30 a.m. and the surgery is at 7:30 a.m. I will be in surgery about 5 hours. The double mastectomy and and the reconstruction doctors will work side by side and then I will be in the hospital until Sunday.
At first, I was concerned that 3 weeks was a long time especially since I have already waited a month. I trust that God has a plan in all of this and I am not going to give in to worry . . .
Here are a couple of good reasons 3 weeks is perfect:
1. There are studies that show surgery is most ideal on days 13-20 of your menstrual cycle for less recurrences in the future. That puts me in a good position.
2. I will get to celebrate my dad's birthday on September 30th. He will be 83 and is not in the best health so I will cherish this time with him.
3. We will have a "normal" house for a couple of weeks - homeschooling, activities, etc.
4. I will attend my book signing at the new Lifeway Christian Store in Tustin on Sat. Oct. 1st 11 - 1 a.m. Come out and see me!
5. I can keep on detoxing and working on my inner healing before all the drugs hit the scene.
6. I can keep having doctor appointments with oncologists, endocrinologists, natural paths, etc. so that I will be ready for "after the surgery".
God is good all the time! He knows exactly our steps and also the best timing for each of our lives. I love that no story is the same and each of us is different. Each of us have that story to tell that only God has given us, for His glory ultimately.
This week has been filled with doctor appointments, blood tests and phone calls. I am on the hunt to figure out my hormones so that I may not be pushed into Tamoxifen for 5 years. My thyroid is also challenged with nodules and a cyst. My lymph system is challenged and I struggle with my aching arm pits, groin, etc. My breasts hurt daily as a constant reminder to what is going on. Praying for someone to figure all that out . . . Trusting that the Great Healer has it under control and I am doing all that I can to aid in the healing.
The greatest blessing for me right now is prayer! I love how many of you text me, email and call. It brightens my day! We do need physical help with meals that if you would like to help in that way, there is a calendar at the top of the page to sign up. Since I am eating a raw organic food combining diet, it is very difficult to cook for me, but it is also difficult for me to cook for the family since I have been craving normal food this week. So I prepare two meals 3 times a day. Having one meal delivered at the end of the day when I am exhausted, really helps. For the weeks to come when I physically cannot cook for anyone will be a great help also!
On a side note, asking for help is just hard! I want to always do it all and the amount of help I need is overwhelming. I see God's hand in teaching me to let go and not worry about all the details. So yes, know that the above paragraph was difficult to ask for!
In closing, a wonderful verse:
"Your ways, O God, are holy,
What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles,
You display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph" Ps. 77:13-15
My surgery date is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 7th at Hoag Hospital. We have to be there at 5:30 a.m. and the surgery is at 7:30 a.m. I will be in surgery about 5 hours. The double mastectomy and and the reconstruction doctors will work side by side and then I will be in the hospital until Sunday.
At first, I was concerned that 3 weeks was a long time especially since I have already waited a month. I trust that God has a plan in all of this and I am not going to give in to worry . . .
Here are a couple of good reasons 3 weeks is perfect:
1. There are studies that show surgery is most ideal on days 13-20 of your menstrual cycle for less recurrences in the future. That puts me in a good position.
2. I will get to celebrate my dad's birthday on September 30th. He will be 83 and is not in the best health so I will cherish this time with him.
3. We will have a "normal" house for a couple of weeks - homeschooling, activities, etc.
4. I will attend my book signing at the new Lifeway Christian Store in Tustin on Sat. Oct. 1st 11 - 1 a.m. Come out and see me!
5. I can keep on detoxing and working on my inner healing before all the drugs hit the scene.
6. I can keep having doctor appointments with oncologists, endocrinologists, natural paths, etc. so that I will be ready for "after the surgery".
God is good all the time! He knows exactly our steps and also the best timing for each of our lives. I love that no story is the same and each of us is different. Each of us have that story to tell that only God has given us, for His glory ultimately.
This week has been filled with doctor appointments, blood tests and phone calls. I am on the hunt to figure out my hormones so that I may not be pushed into Tamoxifen for 5 years. My thyroid is also challenged with nodules and a cyst. My lymph system is challenged and I struggle with my aching arm pits, groin, etc. My breasts hurt daily as a constant reminder to what is going on. Praying for someone to figure all that out . . . Trusting that the Great Healer has it under control and I am doing all that I can to aid in the healing.
The greatest blessing for me right now is prayer! I love how many of you text me, email and call. It brightens my day! We do need physical help with meals that if you would like to help in that way, there is a calendar at the top of the page to sign up. Since I am eating a raw organic food combining diet, it is very difficult to cook for me, but it is also difficult for me to cook for the family since I have been craving normal food this week. So I prepare two meals 3 times a day. Having one meal delivered at the end of the day when I am exhausted, really helps. For the weeks to come when I physically cannot cook for anyone will be a great help also!
On a side note, asking for help is just hard! I want to always do it all and the amount of help I need is overwhelming. I see God's hand in teaching me to let go and not worry about all the details. So yes, know that the above paragraph was difficult to ask for!
In closing, a wonderful verse:
"Your ways, O God, are holy,
What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles,
You display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph" Ps. 77:13-15
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The beginning of the Journey
Somewhere back in the spring, I observed before the Lord that I had never really had any kind of trial. Not a real trial. . . not one that makes you hold on to your faith or one that brings out the worst or best in you. Sure, I have had difficult pregnancies, a miscarriage, financial bumps, parenting issues . . . but nothing that has rocked my world. I am a bit of a Pollyanna and somewhat proud of that.
On Tuesday, August 23rd, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I always wondered how I would respond. Now I know . . . Sure there were tears and crazy unknowns at first, but God was always there right by me. I have to thank you Lord for loving me enough to give me a trial . . . a big one. I thank You that I get to cling to You more each day. I thank you for how my kids will get to watch as we give You glory. I thank You for the family and friends that have come around me like nothing I ever expected. I thank You for anyone along the way that I can share my faith with or tell my story to. I thank You for this "interruption" to my normal life. I thank you holding me all the way through this ordeal - start to finish. I thank you that You knew ahead of time what my path would hold and how you know the final outcome. I thank for the hours I got to ponder death in the beginning. I thank You for the hours I have had to fully enjoy life. I thank You that You took this lazy person and have changed me - physically, emotionally and spritually. . . how do people do this without You?
Some have asked, how could this happen? I am 42 with no family history of breast cancer. I have had four great kids and nursed each one for 1 1/2 years. I have less than 1% chance of getting breast cancer. . . less than 1%!
It all started with a pain in my arm pit about 5 months ago. No one really knows (and still don't know) what is causing that pain. But through trying to figure out what was going on, I went for my annual mammogram. I don't think I would have gone this year, since the last 2 years have been fine. I think I would have taken a pass. Wow . . . that would have been harder next year. In one year, I have developed 8 lumps (I can't feel them at all) and they are two kinds of cancer. My official diagnosis is Invasive Ductal Carsinoma and one of the lumps is HR-2 positive (the fast growing kind).
The advice from both medical and homepathic folks has been overwhelmingly the same: double masectomy and recontruction with chemo to follow. There are a few people out there who think I should hold out with supplements and dietary constraints. But . . . they may not have four sweet kids who would miss their mommy. So tomorrow I am scheduling my surgery.
Why have a waited, you may ask? I wanted to research all my options and interview the doctors. I wanted a peace to come over me from the Lord. I wanted to detox and get in better shape before the surgery for good long term results. I didn't want to regret the decision.
Last week, I spent seven glorious days at one of my favorite places, the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego - an intense detox program that cleans you physically, mentally, emotionally and builds into you spiritually. The program requires much effort, but the results are well worth it. I feel great! I am not as tired, no more headaches, lost 20 pounds, my skin is great! Now I continue to eat this way at home - radical as it may be . . and will most likely continue for the rest of my life (you probably won't invite us to dinner anymore).
I learned that truly I was the perfect candidate for breast cancer:
1. Highly Stressed (although I didn't realize it - that's another blog post to come)
2. Emotions buried
3. Poor diet (even though I knew better - I am a 3rd generation OHI participant)
4. Out of control hormones
5. Unwire bras 10 hours a day
6. Huge Coffee Drinker
7. Too much sugar
8. Overweight
So that my friends, is the perfect breeding ground for these nasty suckers. I figure at my age 40 of my girlfriends will have breast cancer in my lifetime. If any of you can relate the points above, beware!
My friends . . . I have the greatest friends in the world! So many of you have REALLY gone out of your way to be Jesus' hands and feet to me already and the journey has just begun. You have watched my children for endless hours sacrificing your schedules (every day is a play date and the kids think Mommy's "sickness" isn't too bad!). You have gone to doctor appointments with me, made us dinners, gone to a cancer conference for me and washed my clothes (our washer is broken!). You have fixed my computer, massaged my back, set up this blog, straighten my house and made special food I can eat! You have sent me cards, texts and prayers that have brightened my every day. You have cried with me, listened to me (as these decisions are hard!) and shown me God's love. For all of you who have asked to help . . . this journey is long and I will call on you soon! This is the body of Christ at work, everyone! Thank you sweet precious friends for being Jesus to me!
Many decisions lie ahead. . . . chemo, full-time help, weeks recovery, more doctors, etc. However, for now, I rest in this day and what I can do today.
I will end with a verse from my quiet time:
"I am in pain and distress. May your salvation, O God, protect me. I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving" Ps. 69:29-30
Joy shining on the difficult times, reflects God's face! Love to you all!
On Tuesday, August 23rd, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I always wondered how I would respond. Now I know . . . Sure there were tears and crazy unknowns at first, but God was always there right by me. I have to thank you Lord for loving me enough to give me a trial . . . a big one. I thank You that I get to cling to You more each day. I thank you for how my kids will get to watch as we give You glory. I thank You for the family and friends that have come around me like nothing I ever expected. I thank You for anyone along the way that I can share my faith with or tell my story to. I thank You for this "interruption" to my normal life. I thank you holding me all the way through this ordeal - start to finish. I thank you that You knew ahead of time what my path would hold and how you know the final outcome. I thank for the hours I got to ponder death in the beginning. I thank You for the hours I have had to fully enjoy life. I thank You that You took this lazy person and have changed me - physically, emotionally and spritually. . . how do people do this without You?
Some have asked, how could this happen? I am 42 with no family history of breast cancer. I have had four great kids and nursed each one for 1 1/2 years. I have less than 1% chance of getting breast cancer. . . less than 1%!
It all started with a pain in my arm pit about 5 months ago. No one really knows (and still don't know) what is causing that pain. But through trying to figure out what was going on, I went for my annual mammogram. I don't think I would have gone this year, since the last 2 years have been fine. I think I would have taken a pass. Wow . . . that would have been harder next year. In one year, I have developed 8 lumps (I can't feel them at all) and they are two kinds of cancer. My official diagnosis is Invasive Ductal Carsinoma and one of the lumps is HR-2 positive (the fast growing kind).
The advice from both medical and homepathic folks has been overwhelmingly the same: double masectomy and recontruction with chemo to follow. There are a few people out there who think I should hold out with supplements and dietary constraints. But . . . they may not have four sweet kids who would miss their mommy. So tomorrow I am scheduling my surgery.
Why have a waited, you may ask? I wanted to research all my options and interview the doctors. I wanted a peace to come over me from the Lord. I wanted to detox and get in better shape before the surgery for good long term results. I didn't want to regret the decision.
Last week, I spent seven glorious days at one of my favorite places, the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego - an intense detox program that cleans you physically, mentally, emotionally and builds into you spiritually. The program requires much effort, but the results are well worth it. I feel great! I am not as tired, no more headaches, lost 20 pounds, my skin is great! Now I continue to eat this way at home - radical as it may be . . and will most likely continue for the rest of my life (you probably won't invite us to dinner anymore).
I learned that truly I was the perfect candidate for breast cancer:
1. Highly Stressed (although I didn't realize it - that's another blog post to come)
2. Emotions buried
3. Poor diet (even though I knew better - I am a 3rd generation OHI participant)
4. Out of control hormones
5. Unwire bras 10 hours a day
6. Huge Coffee Drinker
7. Too much sugar
8. Overweight
So that my friends, is the perfect breeding ground for these nasty suckers. I figure at my age 40 of my girlfriends will have breast cancer in my lifetime. If any of you can relate the points above, beware!
My friends . . . I have the greatest friends in the world! So many of you have REALLY gone out of your way to be Jesus' hands and feet to me already and the journey has just begun. You have watched my children for endless hours sacrificing your schedules (every day is a play date and the kids think Mommy's "sickness" isn't too bad!). You have gone to doctor appointments with me, made us dinners, gone to a cancer conference for me and washed my clothes (our washer is broken!). You have fixed my computer, massaged my back, set up this blog, straighten my house and made special food I can eat! You have sent me cards, texts and prayers that have brightened my every day. You have cried with me, listened to me (as these decisions are hard!) and shown me God's love. For all of you who have asked to help . . . this journey is long and I will call on you soon! This is the body of Christ at work, everyone! Thank you sweet precious friends for being Jesus to me!
Many decisions lie ahead. . . . chemo, full-time help, weeks recovery, more doctors, etc. However, for now, I rest in this day and what I can do today.
I will end with a verse from my quiet time:
"I am in pain and distress. May your salvation, O God, protect me. I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving" Ps. 69:29-30
Joy shining on the difficult times, reflects God's face! Love to you all!
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