Just hours before the knife . . .

Whew!  Everything is done . . . all the things on the list are crossed off . . .

Well almost.  I have one person I was trying to track down to clear my conscience with.  I felt God convict me of something that happened 4 years ago.  I tried hard to get a hold of her and she had moved, but it will just have to wait for a little bit.  God knows that I tried to make it happen, but she didn't return the call.

I have a peace about tomorrow - maybe not the days ahead, the pain, etc.  But the good thing about me is that I live one day at a time.  Tomorrow morning, say 4:30 a.m. I may not be so jolly, but tonight life is good.  We had a wonderful dinner and a pillow fight with the kids.  I gave tickles to the kids at bedtime and told them all how special they were.  I made lunches for Elements tomorrow (the kids will go to class without me).  A normal night . . .

Today I took all of my verses that you all have texted me, written me in cards, emailed me, facebooked me and all the verses God has given me and put them on index cards to take to the hospital.  I asked for more today on facebook and 39 people sent verses.  I have close to 100 index cards that God will use to speak truth to me.  Truly a gift of his word accessible in a time of need.  Thanks God for the inspiration this morning.  I knew my Bible would stay in the bag.  It is too heavy and I won't be able to hold it after tomorrow, but the index cards will have what I need, when I need it.

I actually feel perfectly normal today.  I feel the best I have felt in years because of the diet.  I don't feel sick in the least bit.  I definitely don't FEEL like I have cancer.  So the thought of waking up at 4:30 a.m. to go and have surgery for something I don't feel like I have is a bit surreal.  Really incredible actually!

I think I am going to mourn these breasts that are part of my identity.  When I was in Jr. High all over my yearbook you can't find my name.  Only nicknames:  "Dolly" "Jugs" "Boobs" "JJ" and more.  I was a very early bloomer.  I have spent half of my life hiding them and the other half connecting with them in breastfeeding.  What a gift from the Lord to connect with my kids!  So trying to look on the bright side . . . I will get new perky ones that I won't be able to feel.  Some say I can even slam them in door and I would never know.  Not a pretty picture if you ask me.  But the years of breastfeeding did take their toll so they will be lifted, reshaped and reborn.  Ah, the blessing of modern medicine!

I ask those of you to pray for me from 7:30 a.m. - noon tomorrow -Oct 7th. for:

1.  For courage and boldness in the hospital.
2.  For the surgeons as they perform their jobs and for my body to respond properly.
3.  For all those who care for me, grant them wisdom to know what is needed and how to help.
4.  For my family and friends comfort as they wait for news.
5.  For the surgery to be successful and that nothing has spread to tissue or lymphnodes.
6.  For a quick recovery at home and the ablity to detox soon.

Thank you for standing with me, friends!  For praying for me and encouraging me!

See you on the other side of surgery . . . Blessings!